My Reason
by Kioko Koishikawa
Summary: Kikyo joins Sesshomaru, both need eachother to spite Inuyasha, but what happens when Sesshomaru falls in love with the unmoved Kikyo? Can he make her forget about his brother? PG-13 just to be safe RR PLZ! No FLAMES!
1. Maybe

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters of Inuyasha, this is all for fun. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi

Author's Note: This is my first fanfic ever! So no FLAMES, but reviews please. Instead of saying it could be better say what should be better. I try my best.

Chapter 1 Two Silent Wanderers Meet

Kikyo sighed to herself. She stood before a beautiful, peaceful river, the light reflecting upon it, making it shimmer like gold on the eyes of her once beloved Inuyasha. She couldn't enjoy the scenery, but it was there for everyone _alive_ to enjoy.

"Kikyo..." a cold voice said.

She turned to see Naraku standing a few feet away from her. She was a little surprised to see him, she was so focused on her thoughts that she didn't sense him come.

"What is it that you want?" she asked firmly, with no hint of fear in her voice.

"Still wandering Earth I see," he said. "I don't understand why you don't jump back into Hell where you came from," he said. She glared at him, with the upmost hatred.

"I handed you the jewel but yet you still make crude remarks," she said coldly.

"I have no reason to treat a dead wench with respect," he said. She had enough of this, she began to walk away.

"Do not walk away from me priestess," he called.

She ignored him and continued to leave until he was far gone. Everyone wanted her dead, her village, her own little sister who she watched over and taught, her own reincarnation and most painful; the man she sought to live a normal life with; Inuyasha.

She approached Kaede's hut. Sometimes she took visits there to see if she could spot the young Kaede, but was always disappointed. Kaede sat inside mashing medicinal herbs in a bowl.

"Kikyo," she said surprised to see her. She could see a fear in her eye, the only eye thats left. Her other eye was injured a long time ago due to her carelessness with that hanyou Inuyasha.

"Why do I see fear in your eyes Kaede?" she asked firmly.

"I only fear for you sister," she said. "Fear that ye may never rest in peace," she explained.

"I am not troubled, why do you fear that I will not rest?" she asked.

"You wander the land of the living when you belong to death, does that not sound troubled to you, sister?" she asked.

"Who determines the difference between life or death?" she asked, a little annoyed at Kaede. Kaede was a little surprised by this question.

"I have feelings, I breathe, isn't that enough?" she asked.

"True but this is not your time, this is Kagome's time," Kaede said. She gave a jump as Kikyo nearly rammed the bow through her head but instead hit the wall.

"Do not ever mention that name to me!" she threatened. "Is it not enough for Kagome to take my duties as a priestess, my soul, and my life?" she asked angrily. "And... also... she took Inuyasha," she said sadly, her tone changing completely from anger to sadness.

"Kikyo..." Kaede said, she felt sorry for her. "Can ye not let go?"

"A living man can be compared as the dead, but the dead cannot be compared to the living?" Kikyo asked. Kaede wasn't sure what she meant. "I will leave now," she said, standing up.

"I am sorry for being so sorrowful, but my heart cannot move from the spot as it was when I died," she said. She left the hut.

Sesshomaru watched as Rin pranced around, running ahead. Her lively spirit was appeasing to him.

"Miss Rin, do not go too far ahead!" Jaken yelled, running to catch up with her. Rin ran to the top of the hill and suddenly stopped. "Finally, I guess that hill wore her down," Jaken said huffing and puffing.

Sesshomaru didn't spare a glance at him. He walked to the top of the hill to see a woman, wearing a priestess uniform sitting near the river, her eyes were so sad, so sorrowful, unfit for a beautiful priestess such as herself.

He caught a glimpse of Rin snatching a flower out of the ground and running up to the priestess. Sesshomaru sensed something wrong with the woman. She certainly didn't smell human, nor did she smell like a demon. She smelled of dirt and ashes, mixed with a sweet scent of flower and herbs. Rin handed her a white flower, the woman smiled.

"Hello," she said.

"Hi, Rin!" she said pointing to herself. Kikyo laughed. Her expression changed drastically. She was suddenly smiling.

"Hello Rin," she said laughing a little.

"What is your name?" she asked gleefully.

"Kikyo," she replied..

Her name struck a bell inside Sesshomaru's head. He had heard of this priestess, many years ago she was known as the most powerful human alive but was met with an unfortunate end in the hands of the dreadful half breed brother of his.

"Kikyo," he said in a soft whisper to himself.

Her dark brown eyes automatically locked onto the silver haired youkai. She was trying to decide whether he was friendly or not.

"Sesshomaru!" Rin squealed and ran to him.

"Can Kikyo come?" she asked.

"My lord travel with a priestess?" Jaken said outraged. "That is unheard of!" he said.

"As you wish Rin," Sesshomaru said.

Kikyo was surprised. He ignored the complaints of the toad. He wasn't usually this easy to persuade, but this time he made an exception. This woman was Inuyasha's love, he wanted her to spite him, he could use her to his advantage.

"Who said I would come along so willingly?" she asked.

"Please?" Rin asked gaping at her with her big brown eyes.

At first Kikyo was a little reluctant, "Alright then," she said standing up. He was surprised to see how fast she gave in but didn't show it on his emotionless face..

Kikyo had no desire at all to join Sesshomaru's little gang but she was curious to why he would want her around. What demon would want to travel with a dead human priestess? The relation between Sesshomaru and Inuysaha was a bit distinct but she could see it in their eyes, the same stubbornness, the same secrets, the same dark past.

"May I ask if you are related to Inuyasha?" she asked. He winced at the mention of his name.

"Yes," he said in disgust. She could tell they were related. Inuyasha was like that when she asked of his siblings. "But we are no longer known as brothers, more as enemies," he said.

"So you are brothers."

"That was a long time ago," he said.

She wondered what happened between those two. Siblings should love each other no matter what but the two are out hunting each other.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Lord Sesshomaru's concerns are none of your business wench!" Jaken spat. "You should be flattered that he did not kill you back there!"

Sesshomaru gave a sigh and then punched Jaken's head, Jaken gave a yelp and covered the lump on his head, muttering about how many years he served Sesshomaru.

"Maybe I'll tell you one day," Sesshomaru told her, he didn't look at her though. Kikyo was astonished, she did not expect anything like this.

They stopped for the night. Kikyo stared at the fire, burning brightly in the middle. Rin was sleeping soundly next to Jaken. Sesshomaru was off wandering somewhere. Maybe she and Sesshomaru can be friends? Maybe she can find a reason to stay, instead of wandering the Earth searching for a purpose but never finding one.

Maybe...

Sesshomaru gaped at the giant glowing moon, it so reminded him of Kikyo.

"That priestess," he thought to himself. The moon was so cold and lonely, yet so beautiful and had such a lovely pale glow, like Kikyo.

Maybe...

P.S: I hoped you liked it! Please Review! Next chapter coming up as soon as I get enough reviews!


	2. Rin's Devious Plan

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha characters, if I did this wouldn't be called "Fan Fiction"

Author's Note: Thank you for advice given. Sometimes it might take awhile to update because I'm busy with school and stuff, so best bet for updates would probably be somewhat on the weekend. I'll state when the POV's changes so no worries.

Chapter 2 Rin's Devious Plan

Kikyo woke up next to the dead fire, it reminded her of herself a little bit, a fire that was put out, all that remained was a bad smell and ashes. It was once a proud roaring flame, guiding the lost onto the right path, but now it was nothing but something to walk past and cringe your nose at the sight of it.

She spotted Rin dozing off in the corner and Jaken was snoring, making little chirping sounds. They looked peaceful, its been a long time since she had a peaceful night's sleep without being constantly interrupted with nightmares. It was like a little movie inside her head that played a horrible scene over and over again every time she closed her yes.

"So you're awake," Sesshomaru said behind her. She turned her head around to see the Prince of Youkai hovering over her, his eyes of gold scanning her every being.

"What about you, did you sleep at all?" she asked, getting up. She brushed off some dead leaves and twigs off her clothes.

"That doesn't matter," he said. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Rin had woken up, she yawned and stretched her arms out watching the two talk with great interest.

"Do you sleep alone?" she asked sympathetically.

"For a long time now," he said sadly, he stared her straight in the eyes, she could see the sad twinkle in his amber gold eyes. For a moment she could tell he let his guard down, as soon as he noticed his eyes hardened again.

"Did something happen when you were young?" she asked curiously.

"Yes," he replied with a sigh. "It's none of your business anyway," he said coldly, changing is tone right away when he realized that Rin and Jaken were awake. He turned away and started to walk away.

She didn't reply, it was none of her business and it was useless to get to know that stubborn demon. Besides it's not like she'll be with him forever, getting to know him would be pointless. Rin was watching the two of them fascinated. She started to giggle to herself. Kikyo averted her gaze at Rin who was giggling to herself. What was so funny?

It must be nice... to laugh...

Jaken's POV

"You're not satisfied until you've plucked the whole world dead are you?" Jaken scolded Rin as she began picking a whole bunch of yellow flowers. She grinned.

"I'm picking flowers for Sesshomaru-sama and Kikyo-sama!" she said merrily.

"They probably throw them away when you're not looking. It's pointless to pick them!" he tried to explain, but Rin ignored his words. She was still happily picking the flowers, smiling to herself.

Suddenly Rin stopped picking the yellow flowers and put them in a pile, then she started picking a whole bunch of white flowers and set them in a separate pile.

"Can you watch these?" she asked Jaken to watch the white flowers.

"What are you up to?" he asked suspiciously.

"Sesshomaru-sama and Kikyo-sama are perfect together eh?" she asked.

"What?" Jaken said shrilly. "My lord with some miko?" he said shocked.

"Then I have a mommy and a daddy!" she said giggling. "Don't go anywhere Uncle Jaken!" she said as she picked up the yellow flowers and started running off.

"Uncle Jaken?" Jaken said to himself. This is getting out of hand...

Sesshomaru's POV...

Sesshomaru walked down by the river, the river where he found Kikyo. He sat down, in the exact spot she was sitting yesterday. He wanted to see what she saw. All he saw was the beautiful scenery, the sparkling waters of the river, but he sort of felt an emptiness staring at it. He felt no satisfaction, like he didn't deserve to enjoy it, he felt like burning the whole place down just because he couldn't feel happiness.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin called while running down the hill. She had a whole bunch of flowers in her arms and threw it at him. He looked at her surprised.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Kikyo-sama wanted these herbal flowers, can you give it to her?" Rin asked. He looked down at the yellow flowers. Those weren't herbal flowers... "Please?" Rin insisted.

"Very well," he said reluctantly but gathered the flowers up into a bouquet. She grinned happily and ran off somewhere. That girl will not stop until he's on all fours giving her a piggy back ride...

Kikyo's POV

Kikyo watched Rin come up to her with a whole stack of white flowers and gave it to her.

"Thank you Rin," she said kindly.

"No, that's Sesshomaru-sama favorite flower!" she explained. "He's grumpy from no sleep, if you give it to him it'll make him feel better!" she said stifling a giggle. Kikyo gave her a strange look.

"Pleeease?" Rin asked pouting.

"Sure thing Rin, the grump needs to smile sometime," she said gathering the flowers into a nice bouquet and heading off to find Sesshomaru.

She found him sitting next to the river. She wanted to surprise him so she hid the flowers behind her back and walked up to him.

"Hi," she said. He turned to look at her.

"These are for you," they both said at the same time holding the flowers up to each other. They were both surprised.

"Rin told me to give these to you," Sesshomaru pointed out before she got the wrong idea.

"Rin told me to give these to YOU!" Kikyo exclaimed. They heard a noise and turned, Rin's head was peaking out over the hill, she had a hand clamped around her mouth, she gasped and ducked when they saw her.

They both exchanged glances, and couldn't help but smiling at each other.

"Kids," Kikyo laughed. Sesshomaru laughed with her.

Laughter... She wanted to live a life full of laughter. Sesshomaru might not be Inuyasha... but still...

Sesshomaru POV

Sesshomaru couldn't believe he didn't figure out Rin's little plan! It was so obvious, how could he of missed it? With Kikyo smiling and laughing with him, the scenery didn't feel so empty anymore. Maybe she could fill in those empty spaces in his heart.

Perhaps she could make him smile...

P.S: You can tell Sesshomaru is warming up to Kikyo

Rin is so sneaky! Teehee.

Next update will probably be next week... or sooner. Before the next weekend I can say.

R/R!


	3. Free

Disclaimer: Don't own these characters at ALL! But I can dream!

Author's Note: This chapter isn't too interesting... well not to me, I hope it doesn't get too many bad reviews. R/R!

Chapter 3

Kikyo stared down at the beautiful scenery at the top of the mountain. They had been climbing it for a day now. Sesshomaru's home is at the top of the mountain that looked over his lands. After they reached the top she wanted to enjoy the land beneath her. Rin and Jaken went up the house to rest. She spotted Sesshomaru standing not too far from her staring down at the vast forests below.

"Sesshomaru..." she said. He turned his attention on the miko, but didn't say anything. He wasn't a man of words obviously. "Do you feel free?" she asked. He gave her a puzzled look. He didn't understand what she meant.

"What are you yapping about?" he asked.

"Even though I'm free to feel emotion, of task I still feel like I'm bound to this world by something, like an invisible chain locked around me, never letting me go," she said.

"What about it?" Sesshomaru asked, in his uncaring voice like always, always putting his guard up.

"Nothing," she said shaking her head. He wouldn't understand. Maybe what she's looking for is someone to break that chain that connected her to her dreadful memories. Sesshomaru looked at her quizzically, but decided not to push it any further.

She gawked at him, his long silvery hair, and his warm golden warm eyes that was iced over, not letting anyone to feel the warmth, so alike Inuyasha yet so different at the same time. It was hard to explain, though they have the same personalities Sesshomaru was harder to break down, he suffered for more years than Inuyasha has lived, he was so much more mature, strong and didn't let his emotions move him.

Sesshomaru's POV

Sesshomaru kept glancing back at her to see when she would stop staring at him. Those two big pools of sadness kept looking at him, unblinking, it made him a bit uncomfortable. He had to say something.

"Kikyo," he said. She snapped out of it, blinking a few times. She looked away for a little but then looked back.

"Yes?" she asked. She seem so sad, maybe he should do something. He got it! He'll take her for a ride around the world, it is truly beautiful up there. (like the lil video clip for fukai mori )

"Have you ever seen the world from afar?" he asked.

"I don't understand," she replied.

"Here," he said holding out his hand. She looked at his hand as if it was diseased. "I won't bite," he said. She took it, but reluctantly. The feeling of her hand against his sent chills down his spine. Her hand felt so fragile, like it would crumble if he squeezed too hard.

Kikyo's POV

She looked down at his hand holding hers. He had a pretty firm grip on her hand. Suddenly she felt them being lift in the air. Her feet weren't touching the ground anymore! She held onto his arm afraid that if she let go of his hand she would fall. He glanced at her and gave her a smirk. It was like a sparkling invisible cloud underneath them. She looked down, they were getting farther and farther away from the ground until even the giant mountain looked small. The wind blowing in her hair felt nice, and so did holding Sesshomaru's hand.

"Wow," she gasped looking down at Earth. She never realized how small Earth was compared to the rest of the universe. The stars were scattered across the dark sky like a clumsy child spilling glitter everywhere.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" he said, but he was looking at her instead of at the Earth.

"It is," she said, her eyes wide open, trying to see everything at the same time.

"I know you wanted to be free from all your problems, I couldn't think of any other way but this," he confessed. She smiled gratefully. He sure did know how to please a lady.

"Thank you, Sesshomaru" she said. She leaned against him while holding his arm, with her eyes slightly closed enjoying the feel of the wind hugging her. The wind was blowing all her troubles away.

Sesshomaru's POV

Sesshomaru felt a warm sensation flow through his body. How can a mere human ever make him feel warm? He looked down at her, her eyes scanning every picture, enjoying the moment. His hand reached for hers, she didn't seem to notice but his heart was beating faster than usual. Why was he so attracted to this woman?

"Sesshomaru?" she asked.

"Yes?" he barely uttered.

"You're so lucky," she told him. He was lucky, but he was also lucky in another way, to have this beautiful woman next to him. "You have an escape," she said.

"With all the problems from the past I had to come up with something," he told her. He felt like he could trust Kikyo.

She opened her eyes, looking up at him, they were no longer sad, but full of wonder and sincerity. He had let his guard down for a bit. As long as she's happy he was happy.

"You mean Inuyasha?" she asked. Whenever his name was uttered it felt like someone just poked him with a needle.

"I suppose, the runt and I..." he began to explain. He had Kikyo's full attention now. "Well I hate him because of his mother," he said. She looked at him confused. "My mother and father were happy together until one day she was killed," he said. The memories were flashing back to him, like stinging slaps to the face but it was okay because Kikyo would protect him.

"That's too bad," she sympathetically.

"No it's okay," he assured her. "The thing that got to me the most was that my father replaced my mother the great dog demoness with a human woman," he said with disgust. "That is the reason I always gave Inuyasha a hard time," he told her. "Then my old man dared to give the better sword to the half breed," he said angrily. "Ever since then I knew I could never rely on anyone but myself," he said coldly. "I noticed that people change their tune about things quickly, especially my father. I've learned to only rely on myself," he stated, not asking for an answer. She stared at him sadly.

"I can relate," she said. He looked at her a bit astonished that she would ever understand how he felt. "I grew up guarding the sacred jewel, I could never show emotion because I was taught that to never trust anyone that the whole world was after me and the jewel," she said. "But then I met Inuyasha," her expression getting calm. He could see the love she had for him in her eyes. It annoyed him. "I thought that being able to guard the Shikon Jewel made me feel like I was special and better than all the other priestesses," she said. "But then I found out how wrong I was, while all the other girls in the village laughed and talked about boys I had to study and remain emotionless. I was lonely for a long time, until I met Inuyasha," She seem a bit happier when she was reminiscing about that hanyou. "Of course I was betrayed by the one I loved, I had everything taken away from me, ripped from my arms," she said slowly but painfully, like the memories were playing in the back of her eyes. Her grip on his arm tightened a little. "But its okay, because I was in love. If I had to die, I would of wanted it to be by his hands. What angers me the most was that my death was false."

He couldn't believe that she was okay with Inuyasha killing her, even though it wasn't even him! She had to suffer for him but she still forgave him. He would never make her suffer the way he did.

"We should go back, we can't keep Rin waiting," he told her. She nodded. They head back down to Earth.

He really didn't want to go back down, he wanted to stay up there with her, he didn't feel alone when he was around her, she was someone who understood and cared, even if they were two very different people, from entirely different worlds. It felt like some of the weight he had been carrying on his shoulders were lifted off.

Maybe this is what it feels like to feel free...

Maybe to be free meant to have someone that can help you with your problems, someone you can depend on to always be there, someone to take all the worries away.

P.S: Eh... you can tell Sesshomaru really likes Kikyo now. Trouble over the horizon though so stay tuned!

Yes I know! A bit of OOC and you guys probably want to complain a bit about this chapter. I didn't like this chapter much. you guys probably want to disagree with some of the comments the character made


	4. Torn Hearts

DiSClaiMEr: None of the characters belong to me. I do not claim them.

Author's Note: I hated the last chapter, hope this one makes it up. R/R

Chapter 4 Torn Hearts

Kikyo started to feel weak, sleep didn't do her much good, not without the dead souls nourishing her body and rejuvenating her. She had been without them for a week, she didn't want Rin to see them but it was getting harder to breath by the second. She slowly slipped out of Sesshomaru's palace and snuck into the night to absorb her souls in peace, without someone catching her. She didn't want the incident with Sayo to happen again.

Sesshomaru's POV

Sesshomaru was outside gazing up at the moon. He doesn't really know why he does this but the moon's pale glow seem to make him feel better; it was a peaceful solitude. He heard a rustle not too far away, interrupting the peace. He could smell Kikyo's herbal fragrance wandering off into the woods. He decided to follow her, to make sure she wasn't deciding to leave, perhaps she is doing something sneaky but he doubted it, he had a trust in Kikyo, something he didn't think he would be able to do, but he followed her, just so he could see her. He could never get tired of looking at her. Dare he say it? He was feeling a sense of love whenever he thought about her. She constantly runs through his mind, the thought of her made him feel jittery. He shook his head; those thoughts were to never leave his head! They were insane and foolish! He continued to follow her.

She stopped walking; he hid in a nearby tree watching her. She was in an open area in the woods, slowly white dragons holding souls started to surround her she was absorbing the souls! Suddenly he whiffed a familiar disgusting scent... the smell of his half-breed brother.

Kikyo's POV

Kikyo closed her eyes as each soul was absorbed into her body, kind of like taking a drink of water after a long walk in the desert.

"K-Kikyo," a familiar voice called, a voice that she didn't want to hear but longed for it to say her name, to say her name once more. She opened her eyes to see Inuyasha, he was standing there, looking at her with the same love in his eyes as it was fifty years ago.

"Inuyasha..." she said, a little astonished to see him. "Inuyasha are you not yet mortified at the fact I take the souls of the living so I can live?" she asked, changing her tone with him.

"I told you already Kikyo," he said looking away for a brief second, then his eyes gazed back into hers, "I could never find you as something disgusting and filthy. Even though you're not the same, you're still my Kikyo..." he said with warmth in his voice.

"Inuyasha..." she said quietly, looking away. The fact that he was so close to her made her want to shiver. "Where is _she_?" Kikyo asked.

"Kagome?" he guessed.

"Yes," she replied.

"She's sleeping, I followed your soul collectors," he explained.

"Shouldn't you go back to her?" Kikyo said, she was a little annoyed again at the fact that her name was brought up, even if she was the one to do so.

Inuyasha suddenly leans forward and slowly pressed his lips against hers, holding her by the waist. A sweet embrace, memories flooded her mind that made it almost painful. She decided to let him hold her, she didn't ever want him to let go, and she didn't ever want him to part from her side ever again. The fact that Inuyasha was near her made her feel happy...

Sesshomaru's POV

Sesshomaru watched angrily as Inuyasha kissed Kikyo. It was a different rage that he never felt before. This wasn't a silly little jealousy over a sword, this was different, the anger seems to pierce his heart, and his fingers felt numb. What were these emotions? He doesn't ever remember feeling so angry in his whole life. How could she do that to him? After what happened? His hand gripped the handle of Toukijin, slowly he drew it out, the sight of his filthy hands on her sickened him to the core. He dashed up to Inuyasha trying to slice him, but he managed to jump out of the way before he was killed but he injured him in the side a bit.

"I will kill you!" Sesshomaru threatened, shaking with anger. His hand started to glow a bright green, he had never let his anger go out of control like this before, he would usually keep his cool while fighting. In a blink of an eye his claws sunk into that half-breed's pathetic body. He dared touch his Kikyo? Inuyasha gave a horrified scream as his claws went straight through his body.

Sesshomaru withdrew his hand, Inuyasha fell on one of his knees, clutching the spot in his chest where Sesshomaru pierced him, he never felt such joy in killing his own brother. Sesshomaru took out the Toukijin again, Inuyasha was too injured to pull out his sword, this was it, and he will finally kill Inuyasha. He was about to strike but an arrow hit his sword knocking it from his hands. He glared at the person who let the arrow fly. Kikyo had shot an arrow at him!

"Kikyo!" he said outraged.

"I will not let you hurt Inuyasha, not as long as I live!" she threatened. Sesshomaru couldn't believe it! What did she see in that hanyou? Lying there lifeless, clinging to the thread of life, barely holding on, how could she prefer Inuyasha over him?

"Why are you protecting him?" Sesshomaru demanded.

"Because I love him!" Kikyo said. "Something you would never understand!" she shouted. She might as well aim the arrow she has steadied on her bow and let it fly straight into his heart, at least he would be rid of these silly emotions. How dare she tell him that he couldn't understand love? When he loved her! Sesshomaru growled at Inuyasha and quickly left.

This was the last time he would let him be so easily swayed by human emotions. Kikyo had no desire to be with him, so he shouldn't desire to be with her either! He was so furious he didn't know what to think anymore, he felt like he had to kill something to think straight, that wasn't a bad idea either. There was a village not too far from here... but he thought against it.

"That would just make Kikyo angrier, "he thought, then he remembered he didn't want her anymore, "Why would I care if she becomes angry? I'm going to ask her to leave and never let another woman sway me ever again!" He thought bitterly.

"Sesshomaru?" Kikyo called, interrupting the debate in his head.

"What?" he snarled on accident. She looked sad again, he suddenly didn't feel so angry anymore, he didn't have any desire to destroy that village, only to hold her and take her sadness away.

"Why were you following me?" she asked. He didn't want to answer her, he tried his best but his anger spilled out once again.

"Can you not stop seeing him?" he asked coldly.

"I love Inuyasha," she told him again. That stupid phrase brought vomit to his tongue.

"But he's already with that other girl," he said calmly, trying not to look desperate.

"I know," she said sadly, looking away.

"Can you not forget him?" he blurted out, he wished he didn't say that. She looked at him strangely.

"Sesshomaru, stop it! You're acting like you're-!" Sesshomaru grabbed her, staring at her straight in the eye.

"Say it! Acting like what?" he shouted dangerously.

"Like you're in love with me," she said slowly. He eased his grip on her; this was the moment of truth. It was now or never.

"Because I do love you," he replied softly in a weak voice.

Kikyo's POV

She was awed, there was no lie in his eyes. There was no deceit. She always thought his heart was made of stone but here he was, staring her straight in the eye telling her that he loved her.

"Sesshomaru..." she didn't know what else to say. He was beginning to lean forward towards her face. She panicked, what was he doing? Her heart started to beat faster than it ever had. Before she knew it his lips were on hers, her eyes widened. Why was this happening? So many emotions were coming to her, she couldn't deny her feelings for Sesshomaru but she couldn't accept them either. Her body felt tingly as he held her tight against him, she didn't want him to let go but she had to.

She broke away from his arms.

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru," she apologized; she could tell he was hurt by the look in his eyes. "But my heart belongs to Inuyasha," she quickly turned and left him there.

As soon as she was a fair distance from Sesshomaru tears started falling from her eyes. Hot tears burned her skin, everything was blurring. Why did he have to do that? Why couldn't she just accept his love? She managed to get back to Sesshomaru's home; she didn't know why she went back, maybe because she knew he wouldn't be there. Rin greeted her. She looked at her confused.

"Why is Kikyo-sama crying?" she asked. Kikyo collapsed to her knees, supporting herself by holding onto Rin. She held Rin close to her as she cried. She promised herself that she wouldn't cry anymore, but she just felt so torn. "Is Kikyo-sama okay?" she asked, worried. Kikyo didn't reply. Rin got the message that she didn't want to say anything.

"I'm sorry Rin," she said.

"It's okay!" Rin assured her. "But wouldn't it be better to cry to Sesshomaru-sama?" she asked. The mention of his name made her heart sting a little, she couldn't talk about him. The thought of him made her want to cry some more.

Sesshomaru's POV

He never felt so numb in his life. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't, it was like a deficiency. He hasn't cried since he was 12 years old. How could she do that to him? How could he be so stupid? He knew she was still in love with that hanyou but he thought for sure she would feel the same! How could he ever go back and face her again? Let alone explain to Rin. He didn't know what to do, he never felt so confused in his life. He just sat there, leaning against the tree trying to get his head straight. His heart just felt like it was being squeezed tightly.

Perhaps he could forget it ever happened and make Kikyo leave them and continue like he never fell in love at all. That would be best, he knew but he could never forget. The strange thing was that he wasn't even angry, he was just... sad.

"Where is that half-breed?" he thought. He was very badly injured and Kikyo didn't take long to find him. Maybe he could find Inuyasha and finish him off. He couldn't smell his scent; all his senses were blocked up by the numbness he felt throughout his body. He wanted to get up but couldn't. He never had been such a mess in his life.

If love meant pain, he never wanted to love again...

A/N: TT poor sesshomaru! This is probably one of the most dramatic of the chapters; it isn't all that fluffy until the last few chapters I guess. I know their relationship is moving very fast but I'm not a very patient person.


	5. Stay With You

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha, but I own this story so no stealing!

Author's Note: Sorry for not updating so long! It was hard with all the school stuff happening. The next chapter I'm not sure when that will be updated since I haven't started on writing but don't worry folks, I'll deliver sooner or later! Thank you for being patient and I love your great reviews!

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Chapter 5 Stay with You 

All morning Kikyo was paranoid that Sesshomaru might pop out of nowhere. She wondered what he would say to her after that night? Rin kept searching around little corners calling out Sesshomaru's name. Jaken wouldn't stop questioning her about how she had supposedly wounded his lord and left him in the woods, he didn't think that she had the power to "kill" him. She would never do that to him anyways. She would rather pin him to a tree for fifty years.

After the afternoon rolled by she was wondering where he was. Did she really hurt him so badly that he couldn't even come back home? Rin was getting worried too, she became restless and jumped whenever she heard a rustle in the bushes or the wind blowing in the trees. Even Jaken was uneasy, Sesshomaru never left so long without saying a word.

"I know you did something you wench!" Jaken accused her. She didn't answer back, she did do something it was partially her fault.

"Rin is worried," she told Kikyo. "Can we look for Sesshomaru-sama?" she asked, pulling at her clothes.

"I'm sure he's fine," Kikyo assured her. She wasn't as sure as she sounded, but the fear of facing him was greater than her worry.

Sesshomaru's POV

He looked up, the sun was setting, he should be getting back, and he couldn't be defeated. Rin and Jaken are probably worried by now. The sight of Jaken going insane with worry humored him. He didn't sleep at all, he was replaying it all in his head trying to figure out where it went wrong, he couldn't pinpoint it but he knew now that Kikyo and he could never be together. They were just too different, no that didn't matter, he thought. She just didn't want him. When the thought those words a stab of pain shot through his body.

"Where's the pesky toad and human girl of yours?" He shifted his eyes to see Kagura standing behind him. Why did she always have to bother him?

"What is it that you want?" he asked, not showing a hint of the emotion he was feeling now and earlier.

"I have devised a plan, the two of us can overpower Naraku, I know more about him than anyone else and with your sword I can be free of him and you can get your revenge," she said.

"I have no interest of having revenge on Naraku anymore, I merely just dislike him and his cowardly ways, and yours also," he said. She frowned.

"So you won't help me?" she said, annoyed at his rude comment.

"I don't get anything out of it, why should I help you?" he asked coldly. At least this took his mind off Kikyo

"Naraku is a threat to you, and you know it. He's growing more powerful, soon not even you the Prince of Youkai can defeat him," Kagura said. "Sooner or later he will even be able to kill the mighty Priestess Kikyo who he is powerless against," she said sneakily.

Sesshomaru was surprised. Did she know about them?

"True, Naraku is growing to be a bigger nuisance than I imagined, but why bring that Priestess into this?" he asked curiously. Why _did_ she mention Kikyo?

"I know that you and Kikyo have formed a… alliance," she said with a brief pause before she said "alliance". Perhaps she did know. She was a part of Naraku, and Naraku was always sneaking around and spying on others.

"What of it?" he asked.

"Nothing, I was just saying," she said coming closer to him. The wicked smile she had on her face made him a bit uncomfortable. "So will you help exterminate him once and for all?" she asked. He didn't want to join with Kagura, but he also didn't want Naraku to be a problem for him in the future.

"Fine, but do not think of it as long termed," he told her. She smiled.

"Consider this as the seal of our trust," she said. He was taken by surprise as Kagura kissed him! It was only for a second before she pulled back, and with a wicked grin she flew off on her feather. He heard a noise from behind him; he quickly turned to see Kikyo standing there.

"Kikyo!" he said surprised. "How long were you standing there?" he asked. He walked up to her, but she just moved back as if he had just done something really horrible and disgusting.

"So I see you've teamed up with Kagura," she said slowly, her voice shaking a little.

"You don't understand," he said trying to explain. What is with his unbelievably bad luck lately?

Kikyo's POV

She couldn't believe him! He would go behind her back and make an alliance with one of Naraku's kin! Men! He told her that he loved her and now he's sucking face with one of Naraku's creations! She had half the nerve to slap him right then.

"I was standing here long enough to know that you would go behind my back and join Naraku," she said angrily.

"I did not join Naraku, I've joined fighting against him," he told her.

"Joining Kagura is joining Naraku," Kikyo said dangerously.

"She doesn't want to be apart of him," he informed her a little annoyed at her behavior.

"Why are you defending her?" Kikyo asked outraged.

"At least she treats me better than you do," he said shadily. She scowled at him.

"I thought you loved me!" she said angrily. What was his problem?

"That was a mistake I will never make again," he shot back fiercely. She wanted to scream at him but kept quiet. She didn't say anything. Anger and Sadness collided in her, and it kept her silent.

"Goodbye Sesshomaru," she said simply and walked away.

She didn't know where she was going, as long as it was away from Sesshomaru. She felt a betrayal that she hadn't felt for a bit. Her head filled with rage, she felt like it was ready to explode. Yet she also felt… rejected. How can she let herself make the same mistake twice? But she was for sure this time was different…

Sesshomaru's POV

Sesshomaru was surprised that Kikyo didn't slap him or yell at him some more. The silence made him uneasy. He felt horrible, did he hurt her so much that it left her speechless? No, she hurt him more than he had hurt her, he didn't deserve the blame. He tried to convince himself that he was not at fault but his heart wouldn't listen.

He went back to his home. He knew that Kikyo wouldn't be waiting there but a part of him wished she was.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin called happily. "Kikyo-sama was looking for you, did you see her?" she asked.

"Yes," he said softly, his heart gave a little squeeze. Guilt? He shook it away, no he wouldn't let it get to him.

"Where is she?" Rin asked curiously.

"She's gone," Sesshomaru told her. Those words shot straight through him.

"Why?" Rin cried.

"Good thinking my lord!" Jaken said. "About time is what I say," he told him giving a relieved smile.

"Where did she go?" Rin asked.

"I don't know," he replied.

"Why?" Rin cried again.

"I told her to leave," Sesshomaru said, he looked away from Rin's pleading face. Rin began to bawl, which surprised him, they weren't that close were they?

"Why?" she bawled again.

"Shut up Rin, it's nothing you need to worry about!" he said firmly, he was getting sick of her nagging at his conscience. She quieted down a little, but he could still hear her sniffle. Jaken seem to be happier than ever.

"I miss Kikyo-sama," she whimpered. He ignored her comment, she's finally gone for the better, and the only thing she was to him was a big heartache. "Will she come back?" she asked. He didn't dare answer the question.

"She was nothing but trouble!" Jaken said.

Kikyo's POV

Kikyo was resting against the tree trunk. She was glad to be rid of him, but she also missed him, him and Rin's company. At least she didn't feel alone when she was with them. In a moment of desperation she actually felt like she could spend the rest of her days with them. For a moment of desperation she thought she actually had a reason to stay on this ball of revolving dirt besides to see Naraku die and die besides Inuyasha, like how it was suppose to be. Her soul collectors surrounded her but she didn't feel like absorbing any souls.

Sesshomaru's POV

As each second passed by he felt more and more guilty. A horrible guilt he couldn't control, as if he had done the wrong thing. He wished she had yelled at him some more, actually he wished somebody, anybody would yell at him; at least he would know if he did the right thing or not.

"Looks like you finally got rid of that wench," Kagura said appearing out of nowhere like before.

"Go away," he snapped at her.

"Change of heart?" she cooed. He didn't even bother answering her, he just walked away ignoring her completely. "You know Sesshomaru," she said. "I'm glad you're rid of her, a human like her doesn't fit such a handsome youkai," she told him.

Sesshomaru stopped walking. They didn't fit together? Supposedly not but they both belong in the same puzzle, all they had to do was fill in the missing pieces.

"I don't expect the likes of you to understand," he said glaring at her. She looked taken aback, but then she gave the same wicked grin.

"Understand what?" she teased. She was walking on hot water now. He knew he just talked himself into a corner.

"Get away from me," he snapped. She smiled evilly.

"Don't tell you have some sort of affectionate feelings towards the miko?" she asked slyly.

"How dare you accuse me of loving a Priestess?" he asked, trying to squirm his way out of this trap. She smiled.

"You don't have to lie Sesshomaru, I saw you the other night when you were proposing your undying love for her," she said.

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Like a flash of light he nearly ripped her lungs out with his claws but she managed to dodge it. She held her hand at her wound in pain, but she laughed.

"You made a very big mistake leaving Kikyo. Now she will pay for your arrogance!" she yelled as she flew off on her feather.

His eyes widened, they're going after Kikyo? No she was more powerful than Kagura and Naraku can't hurt her, but they always had tricks up their sleeves. He had to get to Kikyo some how to make sure she was okay but his mind was telling him to stop what he was doing. Did he forget what happened last night? No, he couldn't face her anymore.

Kikyo's POV

Kikyo stood next to the river where she met him; she could still remember Rin's grinning face, running up to her with a flower, that's why she loved children, they were so innocent. She sighed to herself and sat down. The lake glistening under the sun looked different from the last time she stood here. She turned to see the wind trying to slice her. Her bow repelled them.

"Aw, good to see the priestess isn't as affected as the youkai," Kagura said. She knew she was talking about Sesshomaru. Kikyo drew and arrow and launched it at her, it shot right through her arm. She gasped in pain.

"Go away Kagura," she said. Kikyo noticed Kagura had another wound.

"Forget about seeing Sesshomaru again! He'll never be yours!" she said angrily and flew away. Kikyo narrowed her eyes, she knew about them? Sesshomaru was not "hers", like how Inuyasha wasn't hers, she didn't have anything anymore. She looked around, all her soul collectors were dead, she had to summon more now. "Great…" she muttered as she watched the souls float away.

Sesshomaru's POV

He didn't know how Rin talked him into looking for Kikyo but he gave in. Rin in a way was his inner child. He was worried about Kikyo, he wondered if she was okay, but he was more worried about what he would say if he ran into her. No, he didn't have to say anything, but he was worried about what she would say to him.

Rin was whistling a tune while skipping ahead. She was such a cheerful child. Suddenly Rin stopped.

"Look Sesshomaru-sama! It's Kikyo-sama!" she said. Sesshomaru immediately quickened his pace.

"Just my luck," Jaken muttered bitterly.

Sesshomaru walked up to Rin. There was a vast field of green grass and a few trees. Kikyo was lying lifeless at a nearby tree, leaning against the trunk. He stared in horror but didn't dare show it. Was she dead? Of course she was dead, but is she gone? He slowly walked to her, he hoped to his dear god that she hasn't permanently vanished for his life. Just like that? He didn't even apologize yet. He got closer, she was lying, pretty stiff. His heart pounded from the tension.

"Kikyo-sama?" Rin said her voice breaking a little. She started sobbing.

"Stop whining Rin," Sesshomaru said, his shaking voice startled him.

"Thank goodness that wench is gone!" Jaken said. That ticked Sesshomaru off, he suddenly grabbed that filthy creature by the throat and lifted him up, Jaken was choking, "My lord," he said gasping for breath. Sesshomaru gave him a deadly glare and dropped him.

"Don't call her a wench…" he said. His words shocked Jaken, and himself most of all. Jaken muttered something and walked a good distance away, followed by Rin.

Sesshomaru stared at her limp body, beautiful yet sad. He dropped to his knees next to the body. He slowly lifted her and held her against him, her body was cold. He felt a powerful surge of sadness; pushing a single drop of water from his eye and it dropped down on Kikyo, slightly dampened her cheek. Did he just cry? He didn't care. Her scent was like before, a mix of herbs and flowers with clay and ashes. He held her close to him, in a tight embrace. He missed that scent, even if it was only for a little bit they were away, but to him it felt so much longer.

"Kikyo…" he said softly that no one else could hear. He closed his eyes and rested his head on hers. "I'm sorry…" the words were hard to say, it strained in his throat but he felt better afterwards.

"Sesshomaru?" Kikyo's voice, weak and small called. He opened his eyes, hers were still closed.

"Kikyo!?" he said startled. His heart gave a jump.

"I'm sorry too," she said softly. She slowly wrapped his arms around him. He squeezed her gently. He couldn't help but smile, she smiled too. Things were finally okay. His heart was thumping next to hers. His body felt all tingly and warm, a sensation he never in his life felt before, it was almost frightening, in a good way. He wanted to stay this way for all eternity, holding the one woman he loved, he didn't care if she didn't love him back, as long as she was safe he didn't care.

"Did Kagura attack you?" he asked her worried again.

"Yes, but she was no match for me," Kikyo said, giving a little laugh. He laughed too; he loved to hear her laugh. Her smile and laugh is better than killing a hundred demons in one blow any day. As long as he had his Kikyo everything would be okay.

Kikyo's POV

Sesshomaru came back to her, she didn't realize it until now but she was in love with him. Was this a test that she came up with without knowing, was she really testing him, to prove that he wouldn't hurt her and leave her like Inuyasha? Well whatever it was, he passed. Sesshomaru kissed her cheek, she flushed. Her heart raced, she looked up at him shyly. He smirked.

"Don't tell me the great miko is blushing," he teased.

"Of course not, I was just taken by surprise!" she said denying it. He laughed. "I was-" before she could finish he pressed his lips against hers in a sweet kiss. She accepted, this wasn't her first kiss, but it was her happiest, when it was with Inuyasha it was always sad. She kissed him back, which surprised him a little. The kisses were warm and nice. She felt a bit lightheaded by everything that was happening but overall she felt loved again and that's all she really wanted.

Over to where Jaken and Rin are standing...

"Cover your eyes; this is no sight for such a child!" Jaken said covering Rin's eyes.

"No! Rin want to see!" she said struggling to get free of his grasp. She got free. "Whee! Sesshomaru and Kikyo-sama are in love! I knew they would be!" she said. She giggled, "Hee hee yay!" She skipped around happily.

"Great…" Jaken said sighing. "The opposite of what I had hoped a youkai in love with a miko and a crazy little girl who won't shut up. How did I end up here?" Jaken said.

"You shouldn't talk to yourself neh," Rin said. "You sound crazy Uncle Jaken," she said.

"You people are the ones driving crazy," Jaken mumbled to himself while Rin was cheering and whooping at the fact that his Lord was smooching with a priestess! For goodness sakes! This was the end of his career…

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Ending Note: I know it seems like this might be the story's end but it isn't. I know this chapter was a bit long also. The last chapter would be number 8; we're over half way there so stay with me folks! 

Coming Up on later chapters: More Naraku trying to foil Sesshomaru's and Kikyo's relationship, Inuyasha's reaction, some kidnapping here and there, blood, tears, and there's some more than I probably forgotten, I lost my outline.. :(

I was rereading this story… and man is it sappy! Lol… geez im a hopeless romantic!

P.S: My friend is about ready to submit her story. YAY!


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